sometimes i wake up for no reason in particular. it'll never be the same time twice. 2:13am. 3:01am. 4:50am. 12:22am. something wakes me up, barely stirring me from my sleep, and then lets me fade back into whatever i had been dreaming before. the dreams aren't entirely the same when i go back to them.

but that's not news to you.

when the time finally comes - when the sun shines through the slits i've left in my ceiling - i wake up, open the ceiling, and climb out to tend to my morning chores. after that, i sit around usually. sometimes i fiddle with my radio, catch a broadcast from some town south of here about every couple weeks (it's been silent for a couple years now, don't know what happened to them). they're looking for friends. i'd probably go join them if i wasn't comfortable enough here.

i used to spend my time rolling around conspiracy websites, and nowadays all i have left are the disparate posts i managed to save before the internet finally ended. i hope those people are still out there, i'd love to meet them someday. wonder how they'd feel about fuckin everything. i'd like to know what this guy's up to.

Blocking the manipulation process of the former "sun" take a REAL good look at the sun... through glasses, and not the rose colored glasses that most are used to wearing but actual sunglasses through the windshield ( TAKE YOUR FREAKING EYES OFF YOUR "dumb" phone for just a moment) of your vehicle put your sunglasses on and then look to that little shaded area that's up at the top of your windshield when that filter so to speak is there you will see differences in our so-called Sun, it's different folks I actually took pictures myself and it is not right not at all! The reasoning for this I am not quite sure there are plenty of theories there's plenty of stuff I'm still looking into but the fact remains is that our sun is not the SAME!!! I think it from Slate not professional research personal research, is that it is so we do not see the manipulation and it also works in conjunction with all of the electronic stuff going on with the metals and yeah it's just way out of control butt that's bad it's really really bad

he wasn't entirely wrong. our sun is different. it's no longer the sun that shined on a planet figuring out how best to live. it's shining on a planet that gave up on trying. or, whatever. that's a bit too poetic for my taste but i think it gets the point across.

when that different sun is directly above my house, i walk out to the dune and dig deeper into it, trying to find out what causes it's hum. i figure eventually i'll move every grain of sand away from its center and i'll find the damned thing. it'll all be redispersed, back to flat land, killing its past but not its memory. it always will have been a dune. it always will have been hiding something that crept into my ears during the day, driving me to a minor action but an action nevertheless. this too is something i get overly poetic about sometimes.

sometimes i just run out and dig like a fucking rabid dog.

and when that different sun is starting to dip behind the mountains, i go back home and sit around some more. maybe i read some more conspiracies, for old time's sake. i always tell myself it should be possible to get some satellite internet running out here. i know there's gotta be someone who has it working. maybe i'll be able to Log On and see what new conspiracies there are. maybe there won't be any. maybe they'll have figured out they were wrong. except for the ones who were right.

honestly, it's kinda hilarious. those fucking pigs were right there, they were named asclepius for fuck's sake, and all these hazed and crazed internet people were slapping their logos on pictures of satan. shit, maybe they were shills. people placed to make the idea that a pharmaceutical company would really be doing the shit they were doing. wouldn't surprise me. it's equally as likely these wackos were just a broken clock. that wouldn't surprise me either.

fucking verilia, man.

but i'm getting away from my point. my point being my sleep. my dreams. when the sun sets and i know it's time for me to sleep, i go back down into my shelter - well, more of a slightly fortified hole - and close up my ceiling so im safer from the elements than my shambled home could provide. the desert is more dangerous at night. and as i lay there on my cot, drifting off, i wonder what two dreams i'll have later that night.